Fire, honey

Hey Honey,

How are you? Everything down here is pretty much the same as the last time I wrote. I have been concentrating on my jigsaws and my knitting. I have made good progress on that scarf I told you about, the one with the fishbone stitch. I have reached the point where you have to ask yourself, how long is long enough? Haha! Anyway, my new scarf will come in handy what with winter around the corner!

Wait! What am I saying! There certainly have been a few new developments since we last talked. Your grandfather is up to his old tricks again! My goodness! That man! He never ceases to amaze me. He bought this old fire truck off the internet. An old 1980's Rosenbauer with an aerial apparatus (a big old turntable ladder contraption). He spent most of the summer fixing up his new toy. I didn't mind because it kept him out of the house. He got Andrew from down the street to help out with some of the trickier mechanical work. The hydraulics and such. Granddad learned the other stuff along the way or by watching the YouTube. The deluge gun (also known as the 'master stream') on the top of the truck needed to be repaired and the telescopic ladder was also in need of some TLC. A few weeks back, applying the finishing touches, the boys mounted a new brass bell on the cab and then your Grandfather got a Dalmatian named Balthazar from the city pound. Balthazar is a little on the heavy side so we are putting him on a diet. No more table scraps.

Anyway, now your Grandfather has everything running as sweet as a whistle. He washed the truck the other morning and you should have seen it gleaming in the driveway. What a sight! As you know, your Grandfather is a man of few words but I could tell it gave him a huge amount of satisfaction.
After that, Granddad, Andrew and Mr Anderson got suited up in their gear and headed off on the maiden run! It was very exciting! The neighbours came out on their lawns to watch us rolling out. We picked up a fire report on the emergency services scanner. We sped across town at high speed, the lights flashing, the sirens wailing, to find this darn fire. Mainly I was there to support the boys. I'll tell you what honey, I got some fantastic action photographs with my new digital camera. I'll send you some just as soon as I find time to organise a few prints down at the mall.

The boys did a great job. As soon as we got to the fire your Grandfather went up the telescopic ladder like a man thirty year his junior to rescue a scantily dressed woman who was hanging out the fourth-floor window, flames singeing her bare derrière. He brought her down to safety on his shoulder and then Andrew went in the front door with the self-contained breathing apparatus to rescue a puppy and three children from the ground floor apartment. And while all this excitement was going on Mr Anderson was dousing the entire building with the master stream. 2000 gallons of water right out of the trucks reserve tank. Those flames didn't stand a chance.

When the actual city fire department showed up the fire had already been put out! Of course, they were quite angry with us: angry and more than a little bit confused.

Sorry boys! hooted your Granddad, I guess we beat you to it. Better luck next time.
Are you crazy? screamed the Fire Chief. This is not something a private citizen can do. We have been specifically trained to do this work. The poor man was so confused that he nearly tripped over one of our hoses.

Your Grandfather just laughed again. You know that laugh of his? That deep down, infectious belly laugh....

Sir, correct me if I'm wrong, said Granddad, while I appreciate it is illegal to start a fire which might damage to property or endanger life....I don't think there is a law against someone putting out a fire. 
The Fire Chief looked stunned. Then he became even angrier and continued shouting at your Granddad, calling us all kinds of nasty names in the process. Names that I won't repeat in this letter. (Back in my day, firemen were role models in the community. Like policemen. Judging from this man's behaviour, obviously, that isn't the case anymore).

The fact was, we had shown up and dealt with the situation first. I suspect the Fire Chief and his crew were feeling a little bit embarrassed that we had beaten them to it. I don't think they particularity liked the idea that there was a new kid on the block, you know, a new operator in the firefighting business. When I voiced this opinion, the Chief turned to me and shouted, putting out fires is not 'a business' or a 'game'. What the hell is wrong with you people?

Such a rude man.

The long and the short of it was: we had them worried. Calm down young man, said Granddad, there are plenty of fires to go around. Once again the Chef's jaw practically hit the ground with exasperation. What the fu...."....plenty of....".....he muttered, rubbing his face. We climbed aboard our fire truck and drove off in triumph, Balthazar the company mascot howling out the window.
When we got back home, I made some sandwiches and uploaded the photos to the computer. I'm thinking about a blog. Eventually. I'll send you the link when we get around to launching the site. You know how it goes with blogs. You want to make sure you have a bit of content before you start high-stepping it on the internet. Like I said before, I'll probably end up sending you some old fashion prints from Kmart.

Since our inaugural run, the sky had been the limit. We have done residential fires, structural collapses, extractions from auto accidents, removal of hazardous waste....you name it. Having said all this, your Grandfather prefers standard building fires because he likes to use the ladder (and, I suspect, he is not adverse to the young ladies in frilly nighties, squealing on his shoulder as he carries them down. I am always ready with a blanket to keep things modest and above board. I'll tell you....that man is incorrigible).

The Fire Chief has tried to stop us but you know what your Granddad is like. He will not be told. (And I should know: I have lived with the man for most of my adult life). The Fire Chief tried to bring an injunction, a municipal court order, against your Grandfather but that didn't work. Being a retired lawyer, Mr Anderson went over the paperwork with a fine comb and came to the conclusion that we had nothing to worry about. This is basically job protection, said Anderson. They haven't got a leg to stand on. You keep fighting fires. Leave me to worry about fighting these bastards in court!
And then things got a little bit unpleasant. Basically, the city fire department has been willfully sabotaging us. Petty things like letting out the air in our tyres at night and putting out fake, decoy calls on the emergency scanner. They even did a few drunken drive-bys, throwing eggs at our engine. I heard they set a few fires themselves....just so they could be the first on the scene. Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face! (Or is it robbing Peter to pay Paul?). Anyway, they torched three apartment buildings and the orphanage. Just so they could be first responders and get all the press. Downright nasty tactics, if you ask me.

What these people don't seem to understand is that extinguishing fire had always been your Grandad's passion. It's gotten so he doesn't even need the emergency scanner anymore. We'll be watching TV on a night and his nostrils will start twitching. And I just know he's picked up on the distant scent of smoke. He's like a shark smelling blood in the water. Anyway, as soon as he gets a whiff, he gets this look in his eye and I think, here we go again. And off he goes, pulling on his gear, tearing out the door, heading directly into the heart of the emergency.

Love, Nanna.