All ears

(The distant sound of traffic, a door being closed, a chair scraping across a floor....) 

Okay....I'm ready....(clears throat)...I'll just start...I mean, I should know the drill by now right?....(laughs). Jesus....Here we go...

....okay, I've met a lot of people in my life, that's the truth of it. Many, many people. From an early age, I found myself always in the position of the 'listener'...um....I'd sit there and listen while people talked. And that was always the way it went. I have been told I have that kind of face....the kind that says, "Go ahead...tell me all about it. No really...I'm all ears."

I take my seat on a plane....buckle up, flip through the magazine to see what movies I'm gonna watch and I'm telling you....9 times out of 10....the person next to me will start talking...and I don't mean a conversation. I mean they will start talking...you know?....telling me about their day....their year...their life. And like I say, it's been this way since...since before I can remember....when I was a little kid in Canada, living with my mother, I clearly remember adults talking to me, telling me about their messed up, chain smoking, baby boomer lives. Things I was probably too young to really understand.... 

(An indistinct, muffled voice) 

Yeah....some people will talk. I mean on tape....others aren't interested...maybe they get weirded out by the offer? I would say on average it runs at 40 percent who say 'yes'...and the remaining 60 percent who say 'no thanks'. And look....I never push it. Not anymore....if you want to talk then fine....if you don't want to talk, well I respect that as well. Talking is one thing....but.....um.....when the tape recorder comes out...that's a different story....and I have learnt that the hard sell won't work...the harder you try, the more suspicious people become...

(An indistinct, muffled voice)  

....um...what I do is I interview people. Pretty straightforward....I mean, I get them talking...about their lives. I will ask questions....to get the ball rolling, but mainly what I do is, I try to get out of the way and let them speak for themselves....I like hearing about other people's lives. I like the....I like being on the edge of some else's subjective experience....if that makes sense?....you listen and it's like you're briefly on the same ride with them....you know?...because everyone is on a different ride. Okay? All of us....We're all locked into our own little existences. Even those of us with high levels of empathy...at the end of the day....our individuality is our final, hidden agenda...that's what I'm saying here. When all is said and done, you can only be you. And I can only be me. That's the truth, isn't it? We can try to bridge the gap in many ways...talk, fall in love, become business partners, friends, enemies...whatever....at the end of the day....can you ever really know what goes on inside another man's mind? Another woman's mind? I mean, you may know a great deal but you can never know everything....

(The sound of a glass or a ceramic cup being set down heavily on a table top)  

....sorry....there is pollen in the air today...stuffs me up.....(coughs). These tapes of mine...in some situations, they allow people to be about as honest as a person can be...it's that confessional-therapy thing....you'd be surprised how many people are out there, dying to unload. 

(Pause. An indistinct voice....) 

....the bigger picture?...um...I tell people it's a hobby-art-project thing but really it's not...I don't plan to make something out of it. A book or whatever...(short pause)....or maybe I do? Honestly, I haven't thought that far ahead...about what I intend to do with all these recordings. Maybe the true purpose of this project will become apparent once....once the time feels right? I mean once I have enough recordings....which...well, I'm not sure when that will be...

(Coughs. The traffic noise in the distance continues)

The problem is...I can't tell you when this will happen because...for me, it's still about the act of recording. It is about capturing these people on tape. Being there in the moment when they finally drop their defences and tell the fucking truth....the moment they purge....you can clearly see the relief in their eyes....

(The indistinct muffled voice....)

The original idea? Apart from recognising my innate listening abilities?...(laughs)....I had this book by a guy named Studs Turkel. He travelled around the United States interviewing people....like that...only he was a print journalist....At first, but then, later on, he started recording people....I'm pretty sure he did....although I've never listened to the recordings. Anyway, that book was on my parent's bookshelf when I was growing up, along with all the other writers of the day...reading it was like opening a secret door into people's secret lives...amazing. And over the years, I have always been drawn to interviews on the radio...people talking...the intimacy of their voices....just talking about whatever. It was like hearing someone's thoughts....

So yeah....after college, I got myself some equipment and I started interviewed people...It's been that way ever since. Last year I interviewed about 95 people.....give or take...I don't put any pressure on myself and I don't set myself a quota. When the opportunity arises, I'll take it. Like I say, I know how to approach people and put them at ease. And I know how to get them to talk...um...I just have that..."thing"....what ever that thing is.... 

(Indistinct, muffled voice)

....yeah....so the situation is...what you do....is you explain to them that the little cassette tapes...the ones I use...have a maximum recording time of 60 minutes...thirty minutes on each side...and that is it...60 minutes to say whatever you want to say. Now you don't have to fill up the tape but you can't go over time because the tape will just stop...and it's strictly one tape per customer....and the reason for that is....time constraints or limitations are good to keep people on point...otherwise...well, it could go on all day...you know? 

(Pause, clears throat)

Yeah....as I said, I have lots of stories. I listen to them once or twice before I archive them. I have a few favourites, which might sound a bit weird....I know....but it's not. No, at all...I'm not sitting there... jacking off while I listen to these people talk....um....It's not like that in that James Spader movie where the guy...and the video tapes and...he's all....Anyway, to date, I have hundreds of lives on tape. Hundreds of stories. People in rooms talking away. Dull stories, true stories...once and awhile a truly fascinating story....and everything in between. I have travelled a lot, lived briefly in many places...many cities...listened to many people's lives.  

....um.....for example....I lived in a residential hotel for twelve months in the United States. Little rooms all the same with the same crap furniture, the same leaky basins. All those people stuck in there being admirably optimistic. Or crazy optimistic....What did Steinbeck say? Something about the poor in America considering themselves to be temporarily embarrassed millionaires?...It's true. Totally true....I came across a lot of that. Don't get me wrong...I think Americans are great because they like to talk about themselves so much...and they....generally speaking....they have interesting lives. Or at least they think they do....and sometimes that's all that counts.... 

...so....I did that for about five years....living in hotels.....working here and there when I needed to...and once I got tired of hearing Americans talking, I moved on....tried different countries. South America. Then Europe....where I met a lot of freaks....then down into Northern Africa. Cape Town. Australia. New Zealand. Up into South-East Asia....I had money...if that's what you were wondering...enough to keep going for a while. 

Yeah so...I approached these people and some of them would take me up on the offer. That being the case...we find a quite place and I hit the record button....and once it's done...once they have finished....I offer to send them a copy of the tape...by mail...if that's what they want. 

Finding these tapes over the past couple of years has become a bit of a challenge because....as you can imagine....digital technology has taken over. So...um....the company stopped manufacturing these cassettes, a while ago. Before they did, I stockpiled a supply....I have enough to keep me going for a few more years at which point I'm going to have to go down the digital road I guess. I'm not sure why the cassettes are important....they just are. Maybe it's the tactility? Or the time limit thing I mentioned? I don't know....

The upside of all this is I get to meet new people all the time. The downside is....I get to meet new people all the time. Look.....I try to stay objective about it....I came to understand....a long time ago I came to understand that you can't like everyone in the world....

....as you can imagine, it has taxed my ability to sustain friendships and relationships over a long period of time....It has damaged my existing ones....because, well...because I put most of my energy into finding new, temporary relationships. I can't help it. For me...people are like crack. I'm always chasing that new high, that new personality who will reveal something I haven't heard before. That unknown entity...

....um....look, I don't know....the drug analogy is a bit misleading....I don't believe in altered states of consciousness. I never have....You know something? It just occurred to me....all these things I've been talking about? You're actually quite good at it....at getting people to open up. You must be. I don't usually go into this much personal detail with people.... 

(Coughs)

...anyway...I guess that's all I need to say about this. I mean that's all there really is to it. It isn't complicated. 

Shit....(laughs)....did I even make it to the end of side one?.....really? No?

(End of recording)