The End

You have to hand it to the Americans. Their version of the apocalypse was pretty impressive. In America, there were people on fire, buildings sinking into gaping fissures, chemical plants exploding, thrusting huge fireballs up into the atmosphere. Meanwhile, down here in Australia, the lead up to the apocalypse was fairly pedestrian by comparison. I haven’t felt the cultural cringe for a while but there it was. You know that feeling? Like it was all so second-rate here? Like everything was bigger and better in the US of A. 

 Around our neighborhood, everything had just kind of stopped. You look out the window and the streets were empty. In other words, it was sorta felt like Christmas. Granted the heat was horrific but then again, that’s nothing new this time of year. Australian scientists kept saying the same thing....we don’t know what is going on. Not a clue. The scientists in America were lashing out all kinds of wild theories. It was embarrassing. As Australians we had invented the black box flight recorder and the bionic ear but why was the Australian scientific community being so.....reserved now? On telly in America, the religious right were the most vocal with their fear mongering. Those assholes loved the fire and brimstone when it was all theoretical and now, facing real extinction, they were ecstatic…..

 Anyway we all waited and watched TV. Up on the main drag, the Thai Palace was still open for business. We'd gone up there earlier. The entire Thai family was in the restaurant, just waiting around like the rest of us. In their eyes people still had to eat, right?....besides, what else were they supposed to do? They took our money and threw it uncounted on the table. We ordered Chicken Pad Thai and prawn salad.    

Later on, Don and his family came over from next door. I suppose we were all expected to huddle together in fear but that didn’t happen. I didn’t mind Don. He was alright. Over time he'd proven himself to be a decent neighbor. Anyway, this little get together was more to give the kids something to do in those remaining hours. Don and I...we worked our way through the last cold beers and watched the American coverage on CNN. How long is this gonna take? That was the question on everyone's minds. No one really knew. Typical. Information scrawled across the bottom of the screen. England was in disarray. Images of smoldering buildings and riots. Europe was having a fucking heart attack. And a stroke. And a brain aneurysm. All at the same time. It was all rape and mayhem in the Middle East and Africa. Asia was being very introspective about the whole thing. Henry, my oldest, thrust a device into my hands. Look at this dad! There was a video of some guy near the Baltic Sea fighting a polar bear. This was on YouTube. It was one of those bucket list compilations. You know....people flying planes into volcanoes, swan diving off skyscrapers….stuff like that. I didn't watch it to the end. I didn't want to see the guy getting torn apart. I handed the device back to Henry. 

Any last business? I asked Don a bit later on. Not really caring either way. 
Nah, said Don. I think I’ve covered everything. 
I meant to ask you....did you ever sleep with my wife?
No mate, said Don.
Well then, that's okay then, I said. 
What about you?
Well...yeah….once, I said. Sorry about that mate.
Don shrugged. You know what? I could kill you right now but it's too hot.
It didn’t mean anything, I said. 
It never does, he said.
We just sat there, sweat making the back of our legs stick to the leather sectional. 

The women were in the kitchen getting drunk. The kids out in the back garden getting drunk. And look, I’d thought about remaining sober to the end but why? I mean really, why? So you could experience extinction with a clear head? There didn’t seem to be any point to that. Now that we were all going together, it made everything seem so arbitrary while at the same time quite fair. Here today, gone this afternoon, I muttered. 
What's that mate? asked Don. 
Nothing, I said. 

In America, most of California broke off from the mainland along the fault line. Los Angeleans were either drowning or on fire. Or a combination of both. ‘Oh, the humanity’ shrieked the TV commentator from a hovering helicopter. 
Hold on, said Don, unless I am mistaken, they already used that one for the Hindenburg, didn’t they?
Yes…they did....you’re right, I said. 
Being a professional television presenter….you would have thought he’d have something up his sleeve for such an occasion. A real zinger. 
You would have thought, I said.  
Through the window, I could see the sky beginning to darken. 
What are you....I started laughing.
What? Asks Don.
I was about to say….doing this weekend.
We were both laughed now.
In the kitchen, Don’s wife Margo dropped her glass of wine and started laughing herself. I could smell something burning. Outside the deteriorating atmosphere was continuing to change the colour of the sky. Then the television went black. I raised the bottle of beer to my mouth. 
Any time now, said Don. 
That’d be….


But that was as far as I got.