I assumed it was gonna be one of your typical leadership two-day affairs. We all did. You know what I'm talking about. Some motivational mumbo-jumbo. The latest buzzwords in an irritatingly clever PowerPoint presentation. Soft sandwiches and watery coffee. Rows of name tags. Free pens. The guru imparting the secrets of his success from the mountaintop. And when I heard it had something to do with "finding the inner child" I had to laugh. To snort and chuckle. Danny and I exchanged a look. Wry discontent. Like here we go. Are you hearing this shit? Unbelieved mate. Gimme a break.
But I have to admit there was something to it. It had value. ‘Accelerated regression’ is what he called it. This guru. The key being to find out who you really are. Inside. Deep down. Before life carpetbagged you. Before life made you into a narcissistic career savage.
Okay, so, it's true. You get cynical. You do. Hard and cynical. You absolutely fucking do. But this guy had something. The moment he started talking we were all lulled. You could feel it. People tuning in. The hypnotic effect. Like we were all exhaling one long shuddering breath. A sour, communal breath we'd all been holding inside for twenty years. Like all the bullshit we'd stored up was leaking out of our systems. Deflating. Letting go. And when it was gone there was a pause and we all took in a new breath. And the air we took into our lungs was alpine. Blindingly fresh. Breaking the lethargic thinking habits we'd all acquired. The tiny, angry attitudes we'd become a prisoner of.
And then we were.....playing. That's the only way to describe it. Outside. Running around the grounds. In the trees and on the field. Hooting and carrying on. Building forts. Free. Down by the river. Which had a tyre swing. And our clothes and hands became streaked with mud. And some people had leaves and sticks in their hair. And other people had paint on their faces. And their ties knotted around their heads.
I remember all these things happening but it was like I wasn’t really there. If that makes sense. Like I was slightly outside myself. Misaligned. Disassociated from my actions. Which wasn’t exactly unpleasant. No. It was just unexcepted. Like you were acclimating to your new body. Your new life. Like a child. Testing out the physical machinery that will carry him or her to the end. The new apparatus that suddenly breaks into an accelerated sprint and jumps and rolls. And everyone was in the same boat. We all just....played. For two solid days. And cliques formed. Gangs of boys and girls. Running and shouting through the brush. Engaged in our running battles. Wars and skirmished over turf. Our emotions wild and unpredictable. Every we said had an exclamation mark behind it. And some of us boys were told off for bullying and rough play. And other people skinned their knees. And the loners and the eccentric hung on the peripheral. And the supervisors promised us hot chocolate with marshmallows. Later on.
I was the leader of my gang for a while. But then Trevor B. orchestrated a coup. He managed to kick me out of my own gang! I took Sam and Kelly with me. My loyal lieutenants. And we formed our own, smaller gang (to hell with those other guys). And we dragged some logs up out of the gully to build a dam. And for a while, we were at war with our old gang. Deep tribalistic tendencies took over. The problem was, the other gang kept sabotaging our construction project. Running out of the bush and kicking over our logs. Saying it was 'stupid'. And someone got a bloody nose. And eventually, we joined forces with another group and posted guards near the dam. We made a flag out of Ike Robinson's shirt. And we flew the flag over the dam. And it occurred to me that my perception of time had changed. That this day seemed more like a year. In length. And then we were running across a field at dusk. Shouting our lungs raw. Our senses wide open. And we were filthy but still riding that wave of boundless energy. All that jubilation of not knowing what lay ahead. Running towards our untold lives. Lives waiting to be played out. In the following days and years. In the endless chain of days to come.
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