Mentor

Marty: 

How are you? I have been thinking quite a bit about what you said during our last conversation. I know you didn't ask for any advice but I'm going to give you some. What you described doesn't sound like a particularly healthy collaboration. Professionally or otherwise. I know you been unemployed for awhile and that can be depressing but this Marlin guy sounds like...what I'm saying is, I'm worried for you mate. I went online and looked up some of the things he sells and I'm telling you, Marty, they all look a little bit shoddy to me. In other words, they aren't any good. 

I'm all for making a buck. Definitely. And I don't want to discourage you in any way. I'm just telling you in an objective way, that tradeshow you described, with all those new-age freaks and sellers of snake oil, It doesn't sound like a very based-in-reality-type-of-venture.Tracy has gone to a few of those things but just for fun with her friends. Anyway, you said yourself that you made exactly zero money during those two days of work. That doesn't seem fair to me Marty. Two days of work and nothing to show for it? 

I'm telling you this because, in my experience I have known a lot of guys like this Marlon guy. They are usually sharks or they dream big, beyond their actual abilities. This means they have really great ideas but can't make good on them. I'm not sure which one is more destructive. A lot of these guys spend their lives chasing the big payday but never quite get there. And that would be fine if they didn't sucker other people into their schemes. The thing about these guys is, if you look at little bit closer, beneath the surface, you will see there is usually an ongoing theme running through the lives. Failure and in some cases deliberate deceit. You just have to look beyond the song and dance.

In our conversation last night, basically you set a lot of things that sent up red flags for me. I'm quoting you here Marty. That means I'm repeating back what you said to me. I'm using your words. Okay, you said Marlon had a terrible car accident which resulted in his wife sustaining brain damage which led to her partial incapacitation. You said that Marlon likes drinking early in the daytime, that he usually smells of beer. You said that you have been his assistant for a month now and as of yet, you haven't seen any money but that Marlon always has a good reason why. He always has an excuse. You said Marlon is a very convincing character and usually 'knows what is best'. You said that Marlon's house is completely full of boxes containing these products which you both trying to sell. You also indicated that Marlon tends to play hide and seek with a number of debt collectors who seem permanently perched on the edge of his life. That he had to hide his car when they tried to repossess it a few weeks ago. And finally, I remembered you said something about driving around with Marlon one afternoon and he pulled one of his own cavity-riddled molars out of his mouth! And then he put it in the ashtray. And when you said to him, oh no! Now you must go to the dentist, he replied to you, there is no time for dentists son! Besides, they're all overpaid charlatans. And then you said that he had dried blood on his chin for the rest of the day. 

Marty, I encourage you to read what I've just written. Please. Please. Now, I know you live right next door to Marlon and maybe you have a better sense of the bigger picture. I understand that. And I also accept the fact that Marlon a likeable enough guy. They usually are. I know you think of him as your friend. Try to see this from mine and Tracy's perspective for a moment. From what you've said (and from what I've written down), does this sound like someone who has their life together? Like someone you'd want to, what is the expression? Hitch your chariot too? I don't think so mate. To me, this seems like you're backing a losing horse. My advice is that you put some distance between yourself and Marlon. I mean, do you know how crazy this all sounds? Saying you're being mentored by someone who is a complete shambles? Someone who is using you? 

Look a part of me believes we are nothing like mum and dad. That the environment has made us our own unique people and all that business. I get it. Sure. But another part of me thinks that, as we get older, there are a surprising number similarities in terms of character. And I just want to remind you how badly it went with dad when he was alive. In terms of his career. I think we can agree that his efforts at starting up new businesses always resulted in abject failure. And that, as a family, we all suffered for it. Maybe it had less of an impact on you because....well because of who you are. Dad basically kept us in a constant state of anxiety about money. His blind optimism had a huge impact on us over the years. The one constant element in this pattern of failure was that he always got a business partner who took advantage of him. That's all we seemed to talk about. How dad got ripped off. Taken in. Suckered. It was always the same story: Dad's initial excitement about his new business idea, his expectations going off the charts, unrealistic assumptions and a growing dependency on whoever he had entered into business with at the time. And then the eventual crash leaving dad in a miserable state. Me, you and Mum...we were the ones who had to pick up the pieces. Get him back on his feet. Do you know he spent four months in pyjamas once? That's a long time. Maybe you don't remember allot of the fallout from those ventures. He bought a plot of land out in the middle of the desert which was completely wrong for the development he planned. Another time it was three, supposedly luxury boats with the goal being high end harbour tours. Boats which turned out to be completely unseaworthy. Then buying into that franchise in the after school tutoring company that went bust. The list goes on and on. It was always the same result. Dad would get depressed and he would say, why is this happening to me? Why? And even though we were little kids, we knew what was up, right? We knew that Dad had an innate talent for picking sharks and bullshit artists. That eventually these relationships lead to disaster. 

What I'm saying here Marty is, we need to learn from history. Have you heard that expression before? It means you need to think about what happened in the past so you don't make the same mistakes over and over again. The main thing is, Tracy and I don't want to see you get hurt mate. The overall vibe I'm getting from this situation- from this guy- is not a good one. And I know you always say that I'm too cautious and that I worry too much but you are family. And let's be true and honest here Marty: you are special. There is no shame in this fact. With the greatest respect, I think sometimes you need to be reminded because maybe you get distracted by other things. It's fantastic that you can live independently and of course I'm not trying to undermine you as a grown up individual. I would never do that. Sometimes you have to think about people's motives. This means that they may say one thing but really they mean something else. I know this is a difficult thing for you to understand. This is like all dad's business partners. They would say something, you know, make promises, but they didn't mean it. I'm going call you later on tonight so we can talk more about this.  

Love, Danny.